Yes, it’s been a while. Did you think I would never write to you again? Did you think it was all over and that I had found another follower?
I have tried writing to you but as soon as I start to type I feel that you won’t believe what I am about to say, and I delete. The things that I get up to and happen to be are sometimes so farfetched that I question myself as to if they really happened.
Let’s take the header in this post for example. It’s the most recent thing so I know it’s true. I have even checked my emails to prove it to me. And yes I know it isn’t Chris Rock in the photo. Have you any idea how much it is to buy photos of him online and to reuse them? So this is a man on a rock. Lets just call him Chris…which who knows, might be his name.
So, two days ago.
Hi Ian,
We have a part going on the film ‘Spiral’ with Chris Rock. We are looking for a main character double.
(I knew it wouldn’t be for Chris as I’m too tall)
We will need you in London later today for a covid test then in Salisbury for the following two days.
If you can make it let me know so I can put your name forward to production.
YES, YES YES. I reply.
Next email.
Hi Ian, you’re released from this role as production are cutting the scene.
OK
Next email.
Hi Ian, Its back on. Can you still make it?
YESSSSSSSSSSS!!
Next email.
They have cut it again.
No more emails. I won’t be walking the red carpet with Chris Rock and hanging out in the Oscars awards parties after all. Was that my one shot of Hollywood? I hope not. I have my parts and I’m not afraid to use them.
Nest post I will tell you the passport story. I still don’t believe it even though it actually happened.